Tightrope vs Narrow Road

"On a Tightrope"

Today, I have many things on my mind.  However, they all converged into one ultimate concept that abruptly approached my mind like a freight train and, mentally, I found myself flattened underneath the weight of it all.  I have been walking on a tightrope attempting to balance being perfect with being human.  The question is . . . why am I on a tightrope?

A Tightrope?  Really?

In all the illustrations and accounts in the Bible, I never once recall Jesus or the disciples referring to our walk with Christ as being a tightrope walk.  Did Jesus ever express that we must pull our weight from side to side in order to not fall into the pit?  What a miserable existence!!!!  And yet, here I am with a balancing rod, a taught rope, and am positioned between where I was and where I expect to be.

The Difference

What, then, is the difference between my terrible tightrope and the narrow road that is spoken of in the New Testament?  The narrow path was attainable by God's power.  Walking on it was not easy, but the path that God puts before us doesn't shake with pressure (Matthew 7:14, ESV).  No balancing rod gives us a sense of comfort, because the God of eternal peace is by our side holding our hand.  Do you know that the tightrope wiggles and the wind blows making us feel so insecure with life being so tumultuous, but those heading to the narrow door are secure, steadfast, and have no fear!

Getting Down from the Rope

Finally, after finding myself midair, dangling precariously, I begin to ask, "how in the world do I get down?"  I have glorified my efforts and I have been putting so much time into keeping it all together that I do not know how to stop!  Life still must happen, things still must get done, but the narrow path is firm, unshakable, and a path of peace.  Let's just say I'm more than happy to exchange my tightrope for God's narrow path.  The more I rely on God and let Him lead my steps, the less my tightrope looks so thin and unstable, and the more I see that God has set me on his path and his purposes.  Less worry, more trust.  Less stress, more peace.

The Way

Therefore thus says the Lord God,
“Behold, I am the one who has laid as a foundation in Zion,
    a stone, a tested stone,
a precious cornerstone, of a sure foundation:
    ‘Whoever believes will not be in haste.’  (Isaiah 28:16, ESV)

In Psalms 118:22, the writer prophesies about "the stone that the builders have rejected has become the cornerstone."  The New Testament has multiple references of Psalms, indicating that Jesus is this stone that has become the cornerstone.  Finally, in the book of Isaiah, Isaiah writes about the cornerstone, a foundation that has been laid in Zion, "a precious cornerstone", "a sure foundation", and "whoever believes will not be in haste."  Who is the narrow path?  Who is the cornerstone?  The foundation on who we should make our paths?  Jesus is the foundation, the cornerstone, even the narrow path!

"Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" (John 14:6).  I am not saying that I was completely away from the truth while on my little tightrope escapade, but I will say that I have not been walking and abiding in the truth.  Relying on human strength is exhausting!  Trusting in God is energizing and things just have a way of turning out the way they should.

Abandoning the Tightrope

Let's call it jumping ship, shall we?  I no longer wish to rely on me and wiggle about midair.  God's way is infinitely better and I think He can show me the "ropes".  Just had to throw that one in there.  I am going to determine steps to knock me off my tightrope and get me back on solid ground and back to that narrow path where Jesus is the Way.

My Steps

1.  Pray over my plans - I often make schedules, agendas, and to do lists to keep me organized, but I want God to be involved in my plans.  I am going to start praying before writing anything down that He guides me to what is important and down the path He has for me each day, week, and month.

2.  Identify tightrope areas - When do I tend to wobble in the wind or teeter totter with nothing but a balancing rod?  Do I need to be where I am at?  Or am I doing too much in one area?

3.  Look at my feet - We can't be prideful when we are looking at our feet.  Our head is bowed, our eyes our downcast, and well . . . feet aren't that pretty!  What I am speaking of is humility and I need plenty of it.  Realizing that all my efforts are nothing without the King of Kings and casting myself before his grace recognizing that all I want in life resides in Him.

Your Steps

If you read every word on this page and found yourself teetering at the top with me, then perhaps you have some steps to make yourself.  What will they be?  What is your next step?  Are you ready to come down?

Staying in Love: Part 2

Staying in Love: Part 2

By Brooke Shambley

Jesus taught the disciples about faith in the parable of The Wise and Foolish Builders.  However, when Jesus speaks of building our house upon the rock and not upon the sand, I often think about how applicable that message is to marriage.  Here is the parable account:

Matthew 7:24-27
²⁴ “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. ²⁵ The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. ²⁶ But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. ²⁷ The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.”

When it comes to staying in love, it absolutely matters what type of foundation our marriage is built on.

A beachfront house threatened by erosion - by Dirk Frankenberg

Type 1: Marriage Built on Sand

Many types of sand exist in marriages today.  Some have to do with the initial forming of the marriage, some have to do with existing problems in a marriage, and some have to do with marriage habits or lack thereof.  A marriage built on sand is unstable, unfulfilled, and when the storms come that marriage may not stand.

Sand of Selfishness - Why did you get married?  Ouch, that's a hard question, right?  Sometimes our motives aren't what they should have been when it comes to marriage.  Maybe our spouse was a major hottie or maybe they made us feel like a better person.  So many reasons to get married exist: to remove loneliness, to have companionship, to make our life better, to have children, to marry the hottest girl/guy, or maybe to be taken care of by someone.  While it might seem that most of these reasons are just fine (minus maybe marrying the hottie), they are all selfish motives.  We need to let God remove the sand of selfishness from our marriage.

We may have gotten married for selfish reasons, but God still has amazingly wonderful plans for our marriages!!!  Remember the verse Romans 8:28? "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."  As a couple, you have to seek God to renew the purpose of your marriage.  In Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV 1984) God says, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

Pray to the God who has plans for your marriage, plans beyond what you may have thought for your marriage.  Allow Him to hold the reigns for your marriage and see Him convert the sand of selfishness into the rock of his will.

Sand of Relationship Sin - The second kind of sand that many marriages are affected by is that their relationship is already in sin.  So many couples begin their marriages from a life of sin.  The movies show that living together is only natural and being intimate before marriage is merely a part of deciding if that person is right for you, but the Bible is very clear that this is not God's plan.

Let me let the Bible speak for itself.  2 Corinthians 12:21 (ESV) says, "I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those who sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced."  Also Hebrews 13:4 (ESV) states, "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."

May I be clear that God is ready and able to take this sand of sin and turn it to stone?  God is a beautiful redeemer and can take a marriage that has been built on the sand of sin and bring it to stone that is mighty in His strength.  However, as 2 Corinthians 12:21 mentions, a couple that begins in sin must repent before God to be renewed.

Sand of Good Intentions - Just because we may have married for the right reasons and didn't have a sinful relationship before marrying doesn't mean we are still operating in the right spirit.  Often we go into marriage expecting ourselves to be the best spouse ever and one day the best parent ever.  We also expect our marriage partner to be everything we ever wanted from a spouse.  At this point, we are victims of the sand of good intentions.

We must sacrifice our good intentions to the cross as well as our expectations of our spouse.  A marriage doesn't operate on what should get done or the love we intend to show.  A good marriage happens because of what does happen and what love we actually show.  Let yourself be the spouse that God intended, not the spouse that you expect yourself to be.  In addition, let your spouse be the spouse that God intends, not the spouse that you expect them to be.

The sand of good intentions can be transformed into a stone of reality.  God can take our hurts of expectations not met and show us that He has met our expectations all along.  He also helps us to show our love, display our love, and be vessels of his love to our spouse.  Give up your expectations of yourself and your spouse and allow God to pour out his love into your marriage.

Dar al-Hajar - by Yemeni

Type 2: Marriage Built on Rock

Rock of Salvation - I will be completely honest with you.  You will not have a fulfilling marriage built on stone, if you have not given your heart to God.  He is the only one who can bring you fulfillment and if you are looking for emotional fulfillment anywhere else (including through marriage) you will never find it. 

By giving your life over to God and committing your marriage to his will, your marriage will become built on his purpose and his rock of salvation.  That's not to say you won't have issues, we all do.  However, if we stop relying on our spouse and rely on God as our source of love, the expectations that we have been laying on our spouse will become areas that God's grace can cover.  God is perfect, our spouse are humans and sinners.  Rely on God and minister to your spouse in love.  Amen.

Staying in Love on the Rock of Salvation

When we allow God to redeem our marriages from the sand of relationship sin and the sand of selfishness and we accept the salvation God offers for our hearts, God can be the power pack of our marriage.  Staying in love doesn't have to be a human effort, rather God can supernaturally work in our marriages!!!  I'm not saying it's going to be easy, I'm not saying it's going to happen in a day, but when we begin to let God build our marriage on the rock He can and will do miracles.

Staying in love means relying on the source of love, our God who is love.  Commit today to staying in love with your marriage partner by laying your life and marriage relationship at the foot of the cross.  Allow his redemption to redeem your heart and your marriage, his rock of salvation is the only foundation on which to build your marriage.

Series: Staying In Love - Part 1

Word Art I Love You More Than by Hop Skip Jump Paper

Staying in Love - Part 1

by Brooke Shambley

Our culture abounds with books, movies, television shows, and even people telling us how wonderful it is to fall in love.  However, notice the verb in the statement "fall in love" is to fall.  Think of your worst nightmare.  For most people we think of the dream where we are falling through the air without any hope of stopping.  I know I've had that dream at least once.  Why would we want to think of love in the same way?  As if we had no control, no self-awareness, and no ability to think rationally.  "Falling" in love can be fun, spontaneous, and even monumental, but staying in love is another story. 

If we fell in love, can we fall out of love?  Of course, because we have sold ourselves on this helpless, hopeless, and irrational noun called love.  I don't want to live out love as a noun.  In fact, love as a noun is boring!  We have to add verbs of excitement like "falling" and "making" to act like this noun love is any fun at all.  Instead . . . I want to love and be loved.  I want to live out love as a verb.  Not like we love our cat, love pizza, or love watching movies.  This verb love is way more intense, way more wild, and way more exciting than the cheapened verb that we use to express are ardent likings.

 

Each post of this series on "Staying In Love" I will post ideas for couples who want to learn to live out love as a verb.  This is for those who desperately need to love each other past their initial feelings of falling in love.  I include myself in this category.  We all need to be reminded of ways to act out love in our marriages.

Make a Sacrifice: 

Dude, I am not talking about chopping off a head or anything here.  I mean remind yourself that your spouse is worth taking a hit.  Acting out love, living love as a verb means putting aside ourselves and realizing that this other person deserves to be loved and is a precious child of God.

Word Art I Love You More Than by Hop Skip Jump Paper

For men:

1. Leave the golf clubs in the closet and tell your wife you'll go shopping with her.
2. Get up early, get the kids ready, and serve your wife breakfast in bed. 
3. Take the money you were saving for a big screen television and make one of her dreams come true. 

For women:

1. Tell the kids to entertain themselves and sit down with your spouse and watch his favorite show. 
2. Make the world stop.  Put the kid's activities on hold, don't plan any appointments, clear the night and make it "All About Daddy" night. 
3. Do the thing you hate to do that your husband loves, whether that's rubbing his feet or ironing his shirts.

Reasoning: 

 

John 13:34, "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another."

 

Jesus loved us so much that He lived in our world as a servant and died on a cross for our sins.  Our spouses are humans that certainly make mistakes, but just as Jesus was a servant to this messed up world so we are supposed to serve our spouses.  Love means serving no matter what . . . loving no matter what.

 

Let Go of the Excuses:

 

Sometimes I feel like saying, "I am woman, hear me roar!!!"  I think that being a woman gives me some divine excuse to act emotionally and express myself adamantly.  It doesn't.  I must let go of my excuses.  It doesn't matter how much I decide he deserves it or that he should have done something differently to be treated differently by me.  My excuses are null and void in the realm of the the verb love.  This applies to men as well.  Just because your wife acts "irrationally" or "emotionally" doesn't give you an excuse to walk around with a bad attitude.  Let go of the excuses.  Loving our spouses applies all of the time in all situations anywhere we are at physically or emotionally.

 

To men:

1. Determine in your mind to demonstrate your love the next time your wife reacts poorly.  Decide in advance to not act out in response and instead ask her what you can do to show her love.  She may still be upset, but don't give up.  Earnestly show her that you want to know how to best show love to her in all situations.
2. If you've had a bad day, remove that as an excuse in your mind.  Even on a bad day, the worst, you are called to love your wife.  Take one of your bad days and pick your wife up flowers on the way home.
3. At a time when you are very tired, almost exhausted, offer to get your wife a drink from the kitchen, offer to rub her back, or offer to do something for her.  Recognize the need to demonstrate love even when you are most tired.

Valentine Word Art I Love You More Than
by Hop Skip Jump Paper

To women:

1. Determine that during your next monthly "fun" time will not be an excuse for not loving your husband.  Tell him in advance that you may need time by yourself to cool down, but that you want to remove that week as an excuse.  You want to love him all of the time, not just three weeks a month.
2. The kids have been terrible, the house is a wreck, company is coming, your husband is late, show him love.  On a day that normally is your excuse to be emotional, unraveled, and down right mean, resolve to greet your husband warmly and love him well.  Go out of your way to put aside the excuse of the bad day, and resolve to make him feel loved regardless.
3. It's been a long day.  Everything took a long time, grocery shopping, appointments, etc., but that isn't going to be an excuse this day.  Ask your husband what you can help him with even though you are tired.  Find someway to love him well despite your having a tiring day.

 

Reasoning:

 

Ephesians 4:1-3, "I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called,  with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,  eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace."

 

2 Corinthians 13:11, "Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you."

 

The Bible says to live in peace, humility, patience, and gentleness.  It says nothing about excuses.  There are no free passes in love.  There are no get out of jail free cards either.  Love doesn't just take a hiatus while we deal with our emotions, our days, our exhaustion, or other life issues.  Loving our spouse is not just a full time job, it's a full life job.

 

Continued in the next blog post . . .

 

Note: Some of the information in this blog came from a recent sermon at Gulf Coast Worship Center in Long Beach, MS. Call it inspiration, not a photo copy.

 

Growing Like a Tree

Numerous comparisons can be drawn between a tree and the Christian life. Here I will focus on the aspect of personal growth. 

A tree is first a seed buried deep within the fertile soil. The sun and rain fills the land in which the seed is sown and it begins to grow roots sprawling down deeper into the soil. It will depend on the height and strength of the tree just how far down these roots must travel and strengthen. Over time it will begin to grow into a seedling, then a sapling, as it begins to form above ground. It grows in height, width, and greenery. Eventually, it will bud or bear fruit depending on the species of its kind.

It is safe to say that each year it grows it will look differently than the last until it reaches full maturity. The same is true of the healthy Christian. Each year or season of our life should have distinct aspects of growth that looks different than the prior season. If five years have passed and we are in the same place in the Lord as we were five years prior, we have reason to question our progress. We need to check to see that our seed is planted firmly in Christ. We need to examine whether we are receiving proper Sonlight and nutrients.

The Sonlight only comes from the Son. Conforming to His image and likeness is the only way to become more and more like Him. We do this by spending quiet time with Him, beholding Him and getting to know Him. This is not just a time for petitionary prayer, but for relaxing in His Presence. Prayer is communion with Jesus. This is two way spirit to Spirit communication. Words are not required, and often divert our mind from Him to our own needs and internal dialogue rather than truly communing with Him.

Nutrients come from a variety of sources and yet all of it comes out of Christ. This is to say that we water the seed in multiple ways of receiving what Jesus is saying. The most popular and most universally accepted manner is reading the Bible and meditating on the words of Scripture. This is enhanced when the Holy Spirit is involved for it is the Spirit that gives life. The Word without the Spirit can create legalism and religion whereas the Holy Spirit brings liberty and frees us into being true sons and daughters of Christ. 

However, nutrients also come from the teaching of those who are mature in the Lord, specifically but not exclusively those who are five-fold leaders (apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers). It is important to learn from others who have been called by the Lord to equip the saints in the work of the ministry (Ephesians 5).  This happens, or ought to happen, in our local church, but also on a larger scale from regional, national, and international equipping ministries. We need to learn from a diverse spectrum of the body of Christ to be healthy. Reading books or articles, listening to podcast or sermons from such ministries or attending local or regional conferences are great ways to receive these nutrients. Just as each Christian needs a community of Christians to grow in Christ, each community needs continual and regular contact with other communities to grow as well. 

We cannot grow in a bubble. We cannot stay cloistered in our local church without tasting of the fruits of the larger Body of Christ. We need each other and we need to seek out and honor the giftings God has placed in other ministries. When we honor the other groups by learning from them that which we honor begins to grow in our own life. This is how the Body grows into the fullness of the stature of Christ.

Another way to access these nutrients is to be in relationship with a prophetic community. This means being around people who hear from God and see people through the eyes of Jesus. When people can see the treasure God has placed in you and call it out of you, you grow at an accelerated rate. There is nothing like encountering prophetic ministry. It speaks to who you are in Christ and helps you see what Jesus has put in you. It gives you the confidence to begin to release that dormant gift or to use the gift in greater measure than before. 

To return to the illustration of the tree, when we grow in Christ we find out what sort of tree we are and we begin to grow out our branches into the areas of influence God has called us into. Once firmly rooted in Christ, we stand firm and reach out beyond our previous territory and then we see our branches laden with fruit that we can give away. We get to watch the glory of God become revealed through us and into that which we put our hands to. We can all grow like a tree if we are first planted into the Tree of Life, Jesus Christ.